last glass...dusty buckets...parched e-lips...sponge...drip...drop

2003-05-14 - 8:58 p.m.: visine

i wish i could take you with me on a walk.

there was a boy with a yellow and red striped shirt getting on a bike... he smiled at me and waved, like a neighbor.... i said "hi," but i hadn't used my voice in a few hours, so it was a little dry... i don't know if he heard, but i didn't want to repeat it because that would be *odd*.

but not as odd as the arm i saw reaching out of a car taking flash pictures of bushes or flowers or a door or a window or nothing in front of a little old-lady-looking house on the corner... the yard was un-mowed because it was filled with flowers of all varieties. i hope the arm was taking pictures of the gardens...i just don't know why anyone would be so sneaky about it. i gave the arm a good long stare to test its nerve. i think it worked. it pulled back into its sleeve and then the car as i walked by. then it left. hmmmm.

then i saw a bird flapping in place from underneath. it flapped for a long minute. how cool.

then i saw a folded-up note and a Wendy's name badge and a broken cd and a variety of other lost or trashed or forgotten items. part of me wanted to pick (some of) them up... i wanted to see what was written in the note. i wanted to read the name on the id. i wanted to see what music was on the cd. but a bigger part of me was riding on this sensation of unreality... like i was walking through a stage set, and that to interact so directly with any of the props would make me an actor.... like if i interfered with any of these artifacts, i would *become* part of some drama. i guess that part of me preferred being the pre-production inspector, because it compelled me to leave everything alone.

but i *did* stop, on the way back, and smell the flowers on the tree in the median. and i had to kind of laugh at myself, because it was so cliche. i did it again, though...they smelled so good.

i'm going to see MATRIX II (Reloaded) in less than 10 minutes.

yes, i am a dork.

inward...outward