2003-06-12 - 4:40 p.m.: yellow snow

feeling restless� i feel like i say the same things over and over again� feel the same things over and over again� except they're all contradictory and monkey-like. i'm raining now i'm shining now i'm snowing now the sky is falling and dirt is flying and roots tap into clouds to drink.

over-dramatic, yeah� but that's the fun way to do it.

feeling over-sensitive� run into a bit of chill and i freeze, worried about what that signifies. don't want to rush headfirst into an ice-age, so i freeze. god. back up. rub down. reconsider. makes me want to abandon the whole affair. heard an analogy comparing the university's "scenario planning" strategies (as opposed to "long-term planning") to a day in the park. if you don't know what the weather's going to be like� you want to show up prepared with "flexible assets"� or those tools that come in handy in a variety of different scenarios. i wonder if i have those, personally. i wonder what situations i'm prepared for� and which i just focus on avoiding. i'd like to think i'm ready for anything. i don't know what anything is. don't know what to expect, what to flex my assets toward. maybe it doesn't matter.

steer away from "functional fixedness," she said. that was the thing. don�t view a butter knife as a butter knife. view it as a flat piece of metal with one edge sharper than the other. taking it farther? (further?) don't view a friend as a friend� view him or her as a person with intentions that have tended to complement yours. don't view a stranger as a stranger. view her or him as a person you haven't tried to learn, yet.

multiple uses, multiple adventures in thinking.

i think this will help us all feel a little more full of life.

maybe.

(and no, i don't think i need to apologize for maybe. maybe is not inculturation, it's just the way i feel. i checked.)

inward...outward