2002-01-28 - 7:33 p.m.: bee pee

the confusion of the people (person?) upstairs would be so much fun to imagine. five minutes ago i was listening to rage against the machine at volume 18. now i am listening to schubert at volume 19. (s)he is wondering, "am i listening to the emotional breakdown of one mad person or a tender compromise between two?" i feel polarized today in many respects. it's a very pleasant (but not comfortable) feeling. i hope to hold on to this for a while.

it's very strange to have people on the opposite sides of the walls surrounding you whose faces you've never seen. i can hear footsteps and voices at almost any hour. i know when the water is running, i know when the music stops. i know when people are hurried by minutes or pacing for hours. but i don't know who they are, i don't know the stories of their lives and i don't know if they will ever be characters in mine.

well, i guess in some respect they already are. as footsteps and closing doors. like ghosts.

am *i* a ghost in someone's life??

what a curious, wonderful thought....!

RANDOM FACT: bees need at least ONE semi-warm day in mid-winter to pee. they WILL NOT piss in their hives and risk poisoning the entire population, so they will privately and honorably explode if one of these "bee pee" days does not come along. so... you may notice during an especially frigid winter that on the rare warm day your windshield may be streaked with dots of yellowish stickiness. this, my friend, is bee pee. it is one of the many, many ways that the universe affirms life.

inward...outward