2003-03-26 - 7:35 p.m.: egg whites

so i have this compulsion to write today, but i have nothing to say. makes me think that the compulsion arises from a desire to cover those last swimming sentences with a frothy cap of cheer. :)

so... fine.

i am pleased. even happy. even ecstatic.

i have found a wonderful habitat that manages to be both warm and airy, noisy and musical, crowded and calm and deliciously fragrant. it is a place where one can feel both completely alone and surrounded by friends (old, new, potential and theoretical) at the same time. also, there are enough chairs that you can use one to prop a leg on while leaning back and reading. very nice.

oh... and the ghost upstairs has killed my boy. i may end up introducing myself after all. maybe not. i woke up at 2:39am to hoarse yelling. one voice. into a phone? i don't know. the desperation was alarming. i hoped it wasn't him, but i think it was, because after the yelling came a series of violent manipulations of piano wires. (less harmonic than usual). i think everyone loses control at times. most without the anonymous appraisal of a sleepy listener with one ear open. the strangest thing was that i couldn't make out even one coherent sentence. words? yes. but no complete thoughts. maybe i was dreaming.

hmmm. now i'm lost.

but i bought sea changes.

and i learned that if you wrap both hands around a cup of tea and bring your face very close to the surface to breathe in... it almost feels like you're drinking with your skin.

maybe.

life is good.

or something like that.

inward...outward